It’s not something I usually struggle with. I live with my large, loving family. I have friends that I see at school and church.
Then quarantine happened. I was still with my family, and we had precious moments together. However, when I couldn’t leave my house, I felt secluded and tired. I felt alone in a weird sort of way. Because technically, I was not. I had people around me all day.
But I lacked all the other relationships in my life. I lacked my church family. I lacked my friends, whether it be at school, in my neighborhood, or somewhere else.
The biggest problem that came along with this feeling of seclusion is that it started seeping into my relationship with the Lord. I started to feel like, along with everyone else, he was distant. And it was frustrating. Very frustrating.
This feeling wasn’t new. I often go through seasons where God has felt distant. This, I think, just felt unique because everyone else was distant as well. My friends and my friend Jesus, all far away.
And I’m not going to say that I’ve gotten over this feeling. I still feel like this very often. Almost daily.
But I need to remind myself of this: Facts supersede feelings. That basically means facts remain. Facts are truth. Facts are what are real.
So I know what I’m feeling. I feel that God is distant. I know that when God feels distant to me, I get discouraged and don’t want to spend time in His word because I think I won’t be renewed or refreshed.
So should I just pout? Just sit and worry?
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. Psalm 145:18
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8
And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20b
What do all these verses say? What are the facts? God is near. If I call on Him, if I repent from sin, if I am discouraged, and even just because I am His child, He is near. He is always near.
So I need to repent of my self-pity and pride, and preach the facts to myself: God is near, even if you can’t feel it.
Lord, I pray that you would give me faith to trust Your words. You have promised that You would always be near to Your children, to those who believe in You. Help me to focus on the facts, not my feelings. Thank you that You are near when others can’t be.